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Dearie Me

by FEART

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1.
Waited 01:52
I've waited and waited all my life, Only to waste it. Dreams fallen through. I'm tired and lately, I want to die. Don't want to say goodbye. You're getting older. Growing colder. Trying to hide from the pain you need. With all those mountains on your shoulders, How the fuck do you expect to feel? Keep waiting and waiting, And you'll just find, There's nothing as sacred, As listening to your heart.
2.
You're letting go of things, That I know you care about. There is a reason why, You keep on running when you're feeling scared. Connect with it and let it drive, Your feet into the ground. You'll feel better for it. I say you're strong enough. You're saying no to things, That you don't know a thing about. Closing up your mind. Never leaping when the moment's there. Connect with it and then decide. You'll feel better for it. I say you're strong enough. Oh, your life is steady but you're dead inside. Your heart's beating heavy but you don't love enough to realize. I know that you want to - but don't let go. You're losing yourself. Dig in and let out what you're keeping in. You're letting go of things that I know you care about. For a steady life - you keep on running when you're feeling scared. Sit with it and question why You're not feeling alive. Connect with it and let it drive. Oh, your life is steady but your dead inside. Your heart's beating heavy but you don't love enough to feel alive.
3.
When everything I love is gone, I'll go where the notes go. Before you make a big decision. To make a lot of noise, To your future make a promise, That you'll do it with your own voice. But first and foremost, Make me fall in love again, With music and words.
4.
Take it lightly or make a scene. Be delicate or deafening. Stay and try to find peace. Flee and hide from the home you need. If you're feeling right you can see what's left. Overstaying in your mind can numb your chest. You're burying a lot just to deal. Do a little talking - you might just heal. Be brave. Reveal you. Another day another volume of hate Comes flooding out that makes it blind. The way I might perceive what's right. Won't you cover up my eyes and show me signs? It's only you who makes me feel like I'm alive. The greatest love I'll ever know. The way your eyes breathe in the light, Believing life is made for living to the full. It seems you hold something dear, That's bigger than we have here. It seems you've seen something real, That's better than we have here. If you can find it you can lose it. If you can touch it you can bruise it. Be careful what you do with love.
5.
Bide 02:14
6.
Art Morale 03:15
Savour your art. It'll die fast. Gotta try or you’ll regret it. Work on what you feel. Time alone won't help reveal it. When you're gone, Nothing's gonna change that. Now is all that you have. I'm telling you when your heart lays down, Your art stays. So let it all out. You can make what you want to, But stop making excuses. Your art morale faded for a while. Now you're gonna make it stay. Say it from your heart. It'll lie last. Gotta try or you'll regret it. Work on something real. Time alone won't help reveal it. For too long I've been afraid of making mistakes. I know the timing will never be right. And life is wasting away. No more regrets. I'm doing this for me. I'm remembering what it means to me to make something.
7.
Lighten Up 04:34
I buckled under all the weight of what we made. Fell right on my face. It's amazing that I've known you anyway, And I wonder: What are you doing today? Where are you living today? Who are you loving today? This is me and this is weak. It isn't who I want to be. I'm living in the slow lane. Waiting for who I adore, To give me everything and more, When they don't owe me. Your wide eyes - they're smothering. I know you're right - I've been holding out. Don't know why - but I'm caving in and won't fight for this. Lighten up. You're dark. What have you got to lose? Just lighten up. You move in closer. I walk away. Now 3 years older. I'm still the same. I keep my head low. Heart tucked away. These hands are colder. I'm not ok.
8.
Oh Joy 03:43
I want you in my life. Not as a memory - In real time. Help me through the way you do, And I'll let it all go - who I'm turning into. This year is full of fear and bad decisions, And my home is the loneliest place I know. Settle down. Look around now. It's only me that's in my way. I'm trying to find a little peace, From all the shit in my brain. Higher. Holding you is the best thing I know. Lately, I've been feeling I'm about to let go. For all I do - I'm barely afloat. I'm crying out for hope.
9.
Sit here with me. Maybe I'm leaving soon. Maybe you're leaving too. Maybe we're all already gone. I'll look for a memory to relive this day. I'll look for scenes to replay. We made something. Something to hold. Trust me it's worth it. We're holding a home. It takes me away from this pain. It takes me away. No life is worth it living alone. There must be a reason, For all that we suffer through - just to feel loved. No life is worth it living alone. Together we're a true driving force, To be reckoned with and oh I can feel it all. No life is worth it living alone. So take me back to the time when I knew you. Everyone else is unhappy. Too heavy. Unsteady.
10.
Do you ever wonder where we came from? How you really feel when everyone's gone? Ever had a dream that weighed so heavy you just let go? I never knew my father like I do now. I see him in the man I'm figuring out. Sorrow in the safety has got me finding things so hard. Tightrope's swaying but I like this feeling. I cry. Praying that my legs won't cave in. Don't try pulling me away. I'm facing why I want to be alone. Everyone around me is building a home. Making what my heart can't stand on its own. Brave enough to love through doubt - man I wanna be there. If all you know is running where will you go? There's no fucking pride in giving up hope. Maybe there's a reason why you're always so tired. Tightrope's swaying but I like this feeling. I cry. Praying that my legs won't cave in. Don't try pulling me away. I'm facing why being happy on my own means failing. Jaded and weak, There's only so much you can fight. Call it a day. I'm through, And I'm starry-eyed for sure. Tightrope's fraying but I love this season. I try - knowing that it won't be staying. Real life pulling me away. I'm losing why I wanna be alone. I'm failing.
11.
Hotel Sex 04:50
Don't let it show when your life is broken. Deny you're inspired. Get hired. Retire. Walk with your head held high to the very end. Low-flyer. So tired. Admired. It's dire. Stay by the light of a love that you can give. A coward. A liar. You're covered. No fire. I know you can try with a name like Marien. Empire. Empire. Empire. I wanna take my mind off who I wanna be tonight. Hotel sex. All I need to know. Tearing off that dress to let my mind slow. You know me best. In dark reds and gold. We're gonna savor the moment. Flying into cities. Breathing in the scenes. Lying, talking, trembling between the sheets. Forget about your hopes and all my dreams. We're living through the memory of you and me. And we cry. Oh, how we cry. We're alive.

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released May 20, 2019

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